Still fighting to catch my breath...days have passed and all I can be sure of is that I'm still unsure...I find my heart faltering...how can I know for certain after so many years of silence...I want to say I know. I want to say I'm resolved to believe his every word...but my heart holds me back...as it always has for every man who has walked in and out of my life...believing is impossible with a history like mine...but there is nothing I want more than to trust...to cling to that resolve, knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that this time it'll be different...this time I can believe...all of my hopes will not come back empty...
Time is what I need...time to rewrite the imprints of past...to destroy the patterns written on my heart and rebuilt a fortress that fully feels...I can't touch it now...I can't quite take it in...but I want to...I need to...This is where it stands...my heart heaving within me...desperate to believe...terrified of being broken...maybe it's a step backwards...but maybe it's a step forward in disguise...
Love you Sarah, all I know for sure in this life is that God is good all the time. Your Dad and I have even been talking about God a lot. Hold on Sarah to this special time God has given you, Cherish it, pray and let God lead every step you take. I know it will be a wonderful amazing life journey that has only just begun. I love you both so much, God bless you!!
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