We'd not met before...the sun had vanished and the sound of baseball echoed in our ears over the booming voices of the obnoxiously drunk. I didn't know you, you'd never said my name...but your voice was the same one I'd heard only days before...A long drive...the weary road of an eminent goodbye...you were exhausted from the sorrow...the frustration...the years of silence that finally ended only to give way to a final farewell...I shed tears for you before you'd even stood before me...your scent had not yet filled my lungs...if I had known then I may have said no...and your laugh...guttural and loud...all genuine and joyous...but that was just the first night...
Days passed quickly...the biggest hello I'd ever said and then you were there...so sweetly in the morning checking in...How are you? such simple words...but they moved me...your laugh, your smell...they kept me there...wondering...forgetting...you said you'd sew your lips shut...I said it wouldn't work...you couldn't say enough...and I would not impose my voice...and still...I wanted to see you...you seemed to want the same...The date was set.
A Friday night A beach and a bar...conversation and cold beer and hours of words...mostly yours...I desperately wanted to want this...but my heart held back...when we'd had enough we walked out side to the edge of the world...the sea outstretched before us...the air close and damp...warm...wonderful...we found a spot, the sun fell asleep hours before...the fog still hidden away and lightening in the distance...and you and I were there...side by side, the waves crashing...the world turning the way it does...so subtle that we'd never know...but I swear I felt it moving...hours of words and words and words...the warmth left the world and you drew me in...my back to you...your arms blankets around me...the most comfortable chair I'd ever found refuge in...Your breath on my neck...your voice in my ears...the scent of your skin...all of it drawing me closer...I felt safe for the first time...nothing to fear...alone with a man on a beach in the middle of the night...what would my mother say...and still...I knew it was okay...you would not steal from me or take what wasn't yours....you pulled me to my feet, wrapped me in your arms...held me tighter...the sea at your back...outstretched before me...the infinite vastness of it all and here I was with you...the only two people alive for all I knew...It felt like we were dancing...the breaking waves a symphony...you held me back...your eyes on mine and mine searching yours...I knew that look...I'd seen it before...I turned him down and broke his heart so many years before...but you...here...now...all of this...and the scent of your skin...still drawing me in...
drawing me in...
Your lips met mine...this first time, unafraid...completely unsure...but there we were...the sea abounding just beyond our feet...a curtain of fog illuminated with pin pricks of hazy light and a veiled moon...flashes of lightening...uneven breathing...hands pulling closer...unafraid...unreserved...never before...perfection...the sea...the sand...the fire...the fog...who knows how long...and so worth the wait...and all these day later your scent still lingers...making me remember...I could never forget...
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